On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
