...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
