that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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