Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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