you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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