so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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