Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
