he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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