I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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