so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
