I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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