you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
