My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
