some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
