I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
