If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
