I love black thongs
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
