i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have aggressive nipples.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
