i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just had sex on a roof
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
