I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
