i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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