His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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