Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
