No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
