Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
