I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
