I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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