I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Boobs are out for the taking
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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