can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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