no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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