we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
