I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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