Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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