there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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