I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
