i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
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whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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