drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
