you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
