i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Congratulations! We have a period
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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