This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
