The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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