just tell him i said nine months
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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