And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
