Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
