spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
