Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
