Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
