So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
