Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
