We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
