what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
