Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
