stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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