I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Congratulations! We have a period
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