It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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