and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
