(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
