The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
