Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
