I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
