my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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