I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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