If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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