I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Mom said you looked used
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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