Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
